sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.

So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled

so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.

Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.

Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

(via verycooltrash)

iguanamouth:

youre gonna look so godamn cool

(via redneckwithguns)

iguanamouth:

UNUSUAL HOARD commission for madeleine, look at the mess theyre making

(via thebestofallpossible)

huffposttaste:

“If you’re afraid of butter, use cream.” -Julia Child

“First we eat, then we do everything else.” -M.F.K. Fisher

"The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook." -Julia Child

"I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food." -W.C. Fields

(via goshdangittoheck)

I was so cute and stuff tonight
#latergram